I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
