haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
