I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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