Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
