Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
