Got a toothbrush?
need another drink. this is the easiest way
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
