I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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