Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
