The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
