This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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