I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
