sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
