Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
