giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
