Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
