I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
