i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
