I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
