i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize