Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
