Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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