Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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