all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
