I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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