So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
