Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
