i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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