College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
