dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
