is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
