So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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