So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
