did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
