Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
