As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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