Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
