I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
