end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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