I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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