She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
