Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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