the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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