but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
