Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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