We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize