he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
