mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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