so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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