Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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