Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
