There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
