Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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