In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
