pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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