hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Randomize
