Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
