Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
