i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
