AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
