he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
