remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
