Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
