remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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