a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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