Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
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