he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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