i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
