Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize