Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
