if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
