It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
