Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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