So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize