I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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