I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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