Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
