alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
