remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
